Author Topic: The Shadow Dancer  (Read 3703 times)

Djtooth

  • Rogue
  • Elite
  • ***
  • Posts: 447
  • Tourist wielding a Pez dispenser that holds kunai.
  • Ballot Box Dungeon Delver Eye of Seeing
    • View Profile
    • Awards
The Shadow Dancer
« on: April 03, 2012, 08:22:27 PM »
Ok here is my attempt at porting the DnD class Shadow Dancer into legend. Please give me comments on how i can improve this track, and give me circle name ideas. Shadow and Darkness puns are accepted.

The Shadow Dancer- All Saves are based off of any key mental ability modifer. [10+1/2CL+KAM]
1st- Hide in Plain SightSU- The Shadow Dancer is a myth to those who haven't encountered one and a mirage to those who have. A Shadow Dancer can hide without cover or concealment as long as he is not in melee range of any hostile foes. The first attack the Shadow Dancer makes out of hiding causes the target to suffer a 30% miss chance on all attacks for one round on a failed will save, if the target has dark-vision they are immune to this effect.

2nd- Shadow IllusionSP- The Shadow Dancer relies on tricks of light to distract their foes. The Shadow Dancer can cast Silent Image once per encounter as a spell-like ability.  The Shadow Dancer also gains dark-vision.

3rd- Elusive DarknessEX- The ShadowDancer is always aware of an ambush from the darkness. The ShadowDancer can see normally through magical darkness and Choose either Fleet of Foot or Eyes of Night, this choice is permanent.
3a. Fleet of Foot- Evasion: Once per [Encounter], if you make a successful Reflex saving throw against an attack that normally deals half damage on a successful save, you instead take no damage.
3b.  Eyes of Night - Uncanny dodge- Immunity to [Flat-Footed].

4th- Living ShadowsSU- The Shadow Dancer is able to conjure a shade to strike their enemies from their own shadows. Whenever attacking a Shadow Dancer can forgo an attack to make an attack against any opponent in [close] range. This attack deals [Negative] damage instead of physical and bestows [energy drain] in addition to its other effects. This attack cannot be used with any Combat Maneuvers. A Shadow Dancer may only use this ability once per round. This is a [Negative] effect.

5th- Shadow JumpSP- A Shadow dancer uses shadows to cover great distances in an instant. At will as a Standard Action you can use the Dimension Door Spell. You cannot use this spell to take somebody with you.

6th- PhantomEX- Hitting a Shadow Dancer is like boxing with shadows. A Shadow Dancer can now stealth as a swift action instead of a move action , and Elusive darkness become expanded.
6a. Fleet of Foot- Improved evasion: This ability works like Evasion, except that you only take half damage on a failed save.
6b. Eyes of night- +3 AC and +3 reflex saves these bonuses are lost if the Shadow Dancer is [Stunned], [Paralyzed], [Staggered], [Cowering], [Flat-footed], [Slowed], [Blind], or [Entangled].

7th- Endless NightmareSU- The Presence of a Shadow Dancer marks the end of ones life, and is very unsatisfying for the spectators. Once per encounter as a standard action the Shadow Dancer can cover all the area within [close] range with magical darkness. Everything within the darkness is treated as having [total concealment], and everything within the darkness treats everything as having [total concealment]. All light, magical and mundane is suppressed by the darkness. While within Endless Nightmare the Shadow Dancer can use Shadow Jump as a move action. The Shadow Dancer can recenter the Endless Nightmare as a swift action. Any opponent attempting to leave the Endless Nightmare must make a will-save, on a failed save they are trapped inside of the Endless Nightmare until it expires or they are removed from its area. Trapped enemies cannot leave the area, and cannot be moved outside of the area until it expires or is relocated out of their space.
« Last Edit: June 26, 2012, 04:09:44 AM by Djtooth »
Two dictionaries and a chicken were playing tag one day, they are joined by a tree and some marshmallows.

DragoonWraith

  • Sage
  • Global Moderator
  • Elite
  • *****
  • Posts: 408
  • Gender: Male
  • Typo Hammer Ballot Box Eye of Seeing Dev Team Art Aficionado
    • View Profile
    • DragoonWraith.com
    • Awards
Re: The Shadow Dancer
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2012, 08:41:28 PM »
Shadow Dancer or Shadowdancer, please. CamelCase looks awful in a fantasy setting. (and no, I would not use my username in a fantasy setting, at least as is)

Also, can you ditch the bold-everything? Bold is for emphasis or headings or what have you; having it on everything is just kind of glaring.

Anyway, actual critique. HiPS: you have "forces blinds" in there; should probably be just "blinds". I'd have to double-check the normal Hide rules, but it looks to me that your Shadowdancer cannot close into melee range with someone using HiPS, either.

Living Shadows, "at full BaB" doesn't really make sense. Do you mean to say that attack penalties don't apply to it? That seems... a tad powerful. Anyway, is [Negative] even a thing? And ability damage is... awkward in Legend. Also, this is effectively the Earth Elemental's 4th-circle ability, plus Str damage instead of loss of flying. I know which one looks much better to me....

Endless Nightmare... pretty rough, but 7th circle should be. I like the imagery. The 7 round duration is awkward, though; probably makes more sense to say it's just for the rest of the [Encounter].
Legend contributions: As Above, So Below (rewrite); Reap the Whirlwind, A Personal Touch, Kept Secret, Kept Safe (Professional Soldier); Combat Alchemist (extra track)

Djtooth

  • Rogue
  • Elite
  • ***
  • Posts: 447
  • Tourist wielding a Pez dispenser that holds kunai.
  • Ballot Box Dungeon Delver Eye of Seeing
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: The Shadow Dancer
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2012, 08:50:26 PM »
Shadow Dancer or Shadowdancer, please. CamelCase looks awful in a fantasy setting. (and no, I would not use my username in a fantasy setting, at least as is)

Also, can you ditch the bold-everything? Bold is for emphasis or headings or what have you; having it on everything is just kind of glaring.

Anyway, actual critique. HiPS: you have "forces blinds" in there; should probably be just "blinds". I'd have to double-check the normal Hide rules, but it looks to me that your Shadowdancer cannot close into melee range with someone using HiPS, either.

Living Shadows, "at full BaB" doesn't really make sense. Do you mean to say that attack penalties don't apply to it? That seems... a tad powerful. Anyway, is [Negative] even a thing? And ability damage is... awkward in Legend. Also, this is effectively the Earth Elemental's 4th-circle ability, plus Str damage instead of loss of flying. I know which one looks much better to me....

Endless Nightmare... pretty rough, but 7th circle should be. I like the imagery. The 7 round duration is awkward, though; probably makes more sense to say it's just for the rest of the [Encounter].

Yes i suppose it does look kinda terrible.
[Negative] is a thing, necromancer has [Negative] effects. I wasn't sure about leaving a black sphere in the middle of the battlefield for the rest of the encounter due to fighting in close area, ill change it if more people agree.
Two dictionaries and a chicken were playing tag one day, they are joined by a tree and some marshmallows.

Yoder

  • Sage
  • Miniboss
  • *****
  • Posts: 814
  • Gender: Male
  • I exist.
  • Ballot Box Eye of Seeing Art Aficionado
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: The Shadow Dancer
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2012, 08:52:46 PM »
I'll agree that the 4th circle ability seems a bit much. Maybe only the ability damage but it doesn't stack (encouraging its usage on multiple enemies or just to attain the results of a higher roll)? Maybe all your attacks get the [dark] descriptor and do extra damage based on the circles of this track?
"Trifles go to make perfection, and perfection is no trifle."
~ Michelangelo

My Homebrew

My friend just shared this: "Remember that time Gandalf convinced the whole party to flee so that he could take out the Balrog and not have to share any of the XP? Shows up the next session with fancy new robes and everything. What a jerk."

Djtooth

  • Rogue
  • Elite
  • ***
  • Posts: 447
  • Tourist wielding a Pez dispenser that holds kunai.
  • Ballot Box Dungeon Delver Eye of Seeing
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: The Shadow Dancer
« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2012, 08:55:33 PM »
I'll agree that the 4th circle ability seems a bit much. Maybe only the ability damage but it doesn't stack (encouraging its usage on multiple enemies or just to attain the results of a higher roll)? Maybe all your attacks get the [dark] descriptor and do extra damage based on the circles of this track?
Monks Twin deadly Venoms stacks and it is a 3rd circle ability, that can be used as Constitution or Dexterity damage.
« Last Edit: April 03, 2012, 09:04:41 PM by Djtooth »
Two dictionaries and a chicken were playing tag one day, they are joined by a tree and some marshmallows.

Narsis

  • Elite
  • ***
  • Posts: 232
  • Gender: Male
  • Pirate Robot Ninja Dragon
  • Ballot Box
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: The Shadow Dancer
« Reply #5 on: April 03, 2012, 09:15:35 PM »
Honestly I don't think Living Shadows is that bad.  I would however suggest that on a successful save all the Str damage is prevented.
Awesome Legend pally avatar by Prime32

Djtooth

  • Rogue
  • Elite
  • ***
  • Posts: 447
  • Tourist wielding a Pez dispenser that holds kunai.
  • Ballot Box Dungeon Delver Eye of Seeing
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: The Shadow Dancer
« Reply #6 on: April 03, 2012, 09:18:43 PM »
I was thinking about having the attack of living shadow effect the target as if they were flat-footed.
Two dictionaries and a chicken were playing tag one day, they are joined by a tree and some marshmallows.

Mystify

  • Sage
  • In Mithril Reborn
  • ****
  • Posts: 3117
  • Gender: Male
  • Scroll of Scribes Typo Hammer Magic 8-Ball Editor's Highlight Ballot Box Dungeon Delver Art Aficionado
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: The Shadow Dancer
« Reply #7 on: April 03, 2012, 09:20:16 PM »
Blinding targets is pretty extreme. Esp. for such an easily done thing at 1st level.
My extensive collection of homebrew
As always, Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly

Djtooth

  • Rogue
  • Elite
  • ***
  • Posts: 447
  • Tourist wielding a Pez dispenser that holds kunai.
  • Ballot Box Dungeon Delver Eye of Seeing
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: The Shadow Dancer
« Reply #8 on: April 03, 2012, 09:25:39 PM »
Blinding targets is pretty extreme. Esp. for such an easily done thing at 1st level.
Should i change it to 20% miss chance instead?
Two dictionaries and a chicken were playing tag one day, they are joined by a tree and some marshmallows.

Mystify

  • Sage
  • In Mithril Reborn
  • ****
  • Posts: 3117
  • Gender: Male
  • Scroll of Scribes Typo Hammer Magic 8-Ball Editor's Highlight Ballot Box Dungeon Delver Art Aficionado
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: The Shadow Dancer
« Reply #9 on: April 03, 2012, 09:43:56 PM »
Blinding targets is pretty extreme. Esp. for such an easily done thing at 1st level.
Should i change it to 20% miss chance instead?
How would you intend that to work? Its better, any way. Do you mean "The target has a 20% miss chance against other targets for one round on a failed will save"? That seems reasonable to me.
My extensive collection of homebrew
As always, Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly

Djtooth

  • Rogue
  • Elite
  • ***
  • Posts: 447
  • Tourist wielding a Pez dispenser that holds kunai.
  • Ballot Box Dungeon Delver Eye of Seeing
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: The Shadow Dancer
« Reply #10 on: April 04, 2012, 02:18:40 PM »
Does anybody have a better idea for the capstone? Just noticed how weak a 20% mischance as a 7th circle ability is.
Two dictionaries and a chicken were playing tag one day, they are joined by a tree and some marshmallows.

Yoder

  • Sage
  • Miniboss
  • *****
  • Posts: 814
  • Gender: Male
  • I exist.
  • Ballot Box Eye of Seeing Art Aficionado
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: The Shadow Dancer
« Reply #11 on: April 04, 2012, 06:15:56 PM »
Well, 20% is like concealment, so how about 50% like total concealment?
"Trifles go to make perfection, and perfection is no trifle."
~ Michelangelo

My Homebrew

My friend just shared this: "Remember that time Gandalf convinced the whole party to flee so that he could take out the Balrog and not have to share any of the XP? Shows up the next session with fancy new robes and everything. What a jerk."